A Guy Won $50,000 Because the First Score of the Game was a Safety:
The first score of last night's Super Bowl was a SAFETY. Those are fairly rare, especially as the first score in games, and ESPECIALLY in the Super Bowl.
Because it's the Super Bowl you can bet on everything, of course. At the MGM Grand in Vegas, the odds of the first score of the game being a Giants safety were 50-to-1.
One guy actually bet $1,000 on that . . . which, in theory, was like setting that money on fire . . . but it won him $50,000 on the spot.
(Deadspin)
The New England Patriots Actually Cut a Player the Night Before the Game:
The Patriots DEFINITELY didn't have karma on their side for the Super Bowl . . . because this sounds harsh, even for an organization that's known for being harsh with the way they cut players.
The NIGHT BEFORE the Super Bowl, the Patriots cut a wide receiver named TIQUAN UNDERWOOD. They decided last minute they wanted to add an extra defensive lineman named ALEX SILVESTRO.
Tiquan probably wouldn't have played much . . . but he was SO excited about being there that, earlier in the week, he shaved the Patriots logo into his hair.
And, to top it off, Silvestro DIDN'T EVEN PLAY in the Super Bowl. He's one of only two Patriots who saw zero action. So Underwood was TRULY cut for nothing. KARMA IS REAL.
(CBS Sports)
Can Your Huge Breasts Cause You to Fail a Roadside Sobriety Test?
49-year-old Maureen Raymond was pulled over in Port St. Lucie, Florida after police saw her speeding and weaving across the center line. The cops smelled alcohol on her and found an empty glass that did too.
Police asked her to perform a sobriety test where she balanced on one foot. According to the police report, she said the officer, quote, "needed to understand that she is big-chested", which would make balancing difficult.
The officer asked if she had any physical disabilities, and she said, quote, "big breasts and whiplash." He asked again if she could perform the test and she said, quote, "Hell no not with these . . . big boobies."
Maureen began dancing and disrobing instead of balancing, so police arrested her. At the station, she refused a breath test, because she was busy praying, and, quote, "God comes first."
(WPTV)
A Guy Leads Police on a High-Speed Chase . . . Because It Was on His Bucket List:
55-year-old John Hughes of Butte, Montana got to cross an item off his bucket list, Thursday night . . . by leading police on a high-speed chase.
John was completely sober and had done nothing wrong, but he said he'd always wanted to see what a police chase would be like.
So, at about 3:30 A.M., he found a patrol car and began to tailgate it. After seven blocks, he sped off at 70 miles an hour. As he'd hoped, the cop went after him.
The chase eventually hit 100 miles an hour. Police finally stopped him with spiked "stop sticks" in the road.
They approached the car with guns drawn, and John surrendered. He told them about his lifelong wish and said he, quote, "was having a bad day" and wanted to go for a drive. He was charged with misdemeanor reckless driving while eluding police.
(Montana Standard)
An Ohio Woman Having a Stroke Called the Wrong Number . . . but the Guy in Denver That Answered Got Her Help:
70-year-old Loretta Smith of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio is alive, thanks to a random stranger two time zones away. (--Cuyahoga Falls is just outside of Akron.)
Loretta suffered a mini-stroke last weekend. The right side of her body went numb and she collapsed to the floor. Luckily, as she fell, she managed to grab the telephone.
Loretta tried to call her son, but she misdialed and got Kenny Crater, a 28-year-old sculpture major at a college in Denver. (He was originally from the area and kept his Ohio cell phone number.)
Kenny called 911 and got the dispatcher from Broomfield, Colorado to transfer him to the Cuyahoga Falls dispatcher. They got paramedics to Loretta, and she was treated at the hospital.
(USA Today)
The Ten People Who Were at Every Super Bowl Party:
If you watched the game with a big group of friends yesterday, then you probably hung out with at least SOME of the people on this list. According to FunnyOrDie.com, there are ten kinds of people at every Super Bowl party.
#1.) The Person Who's Way Too Excited About the Halftime Show. It's just choreographed lip-synching. But this is the person who cares more about Madonna's mash-up with LMFAO than the crazy finish in the fourth quarter.
#2.) The Person Who Cared More About the Ads Than the Game. They're the one who didn't talk much during the actual football, but then cracked up at every half-decent commercial . . . even if they'd already seen it on YouTube.
#3.) The Serious Gambler. A lot of people put bets down on the game. But the SERIOUS gambler was the one glued to their cell phone the whole time . . . always either celebrating or swearing.
#4.) The Football "Expert." He's the guy who used to play in high school, and felt the need to break down each play for everyone else.
#5.) The Single Girl Who Pretended to Love Football Just So the Guys Would Like Her. She probably knew who Tom Brady and Eli Manning were, but that's it. And she pretended to be interested in whatever the football "expert" had to say.
#6.) The Socially Awkward Guy Who Tried Too Hard. He's basically the male equivalent of the single girl: He didn't know ANYTHING about football, but wanted to fit in. So he yelled out on big plays . . . but it always seemed forced.
#7.) The Person Who Mainly Came for the Food. Chances are they spent a lot of time out by the grill. Or they took one of the prime seats on the couch . . . but only to be close to the snacks.
#8.) The Guy Who Said HIS Team Is Just One Draft Pick Away from Next Year's Super Bowl. Even if they were 4 and 12 this year, he's sure that one key player could turn it around.
#9.) The Guy Who Disagreed with Whatever the Broadcasters Said. Even if they were right, he'd find SOMETHING to disagree with.
#10.) The Guy Who Insisted on High-Fiving Everyone After a Big Play. And not just the people sitting next to him. He actually stood up and walked across the room to make sure he got everyone.
(FunnyOrDie.com)
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